Brian Fantana Quotes:
Fantana is the field reporter for the Channel Four News Team. He is the stylish one of the group. He has a nickname for his penis, the Octagon and his testicles, James Westfall and Dr. Kenneth Noisewater.
Fantana has a impressive collection of colognes particularly Sex Panther. He goes onto host Fox Network’s intercourse island. He is played in the film by Paul Rudd.
Brian Fantana: I’ll give this little cookie an hour before we’re doing the no pants dance. Time to musk up.
(secret cologne Cabinate opens)
Ron Burgundy: Wow! Never ceases to amaze me. What cologne you gonna go with? London Gentleman, or wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard’s Delight.
Brian Fantana: No, she gets a special cologne….. It’s called Sex Panther by Odeon. It’s illegal in nine countries. Yep, it’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good.
Ron Burgundy: It’s quite pungent.
Brian Fantana: Oh yeah.
Ron Burgundy: It’s a formidable scent, It stings the nostrils, In a good way.
Brian Fantana: Yep.
Ron Burgundy: Brian, I’m gonna be honest with you. That smells like pure gasoline.
Brian Fantana: They’ve done studies you know… 60% of the time it works, every time.
Ron Burgundy: That doesn’t make sense.
Brian Fantana: Well… Let’s go see if we can make this little kitty purr.
Brian Fantana: Ron I know it sounds harsh, but God does not want her to live.
Brian Fantana: I think I was in love once.
Ron Burgundy: Really? What was her name?
Brian Fantana: I don’t remember.
Ron Burgundy: That’s not a good start, but keep going.
Brian Fantana: She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a KMart and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.
Ron Burgundy: I’m pretty sure that’s not love.
Brian Fantana: Damn it!
Brick Tamland: I read somewhere their periods attract bears. Bears can smell the menstruation.
Brian Fantana: Well that’s just great. You hear that Ed? Bears! Now you’re putting the whole station in jeopardy!
Veronica Corningstone: My God, what is that smell?
Brian Fantana: That’s the smell of desire my lady.
Veronica Corningstone: God no it smells like, like a used diaper…… filled with….. Indian food. Oh excuse me.
Brian Fantana: You know, desire smells like that to some people.
News Station Employee: What is that? Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair.
News Station Employee: Smells like Bigfoot’s dick!
Brian Fantana: Woah, what’s that smell?
Brian Fantana: “I think I was in love once.”
Ron Burgundy: “Really? What was her name?”
Brian Fantana:” I don’t remember.”
Ron Burgundy:” That’s not a good start, but keep going.”
Brian Fantana:” She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a KMart and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.”
Ron Burgundy:” I’m pretty sure that’s not love.”
Brian Fantana: “Damn it!”
Brian Fantana: “Panda Watch. The mood is tense. I have been on some serious, serious reports but nothing quite like this. I uhhhh Ching… King is inside right now. I tried to get an interview with him, but they said no, you can’t do that he’s a live bear, he will literally rip your face off.
Hey, you’re making me look stupid. Get out of here, Panda Jerk!”